Dying Thoughts

            If you happen to live under a rock, you might not have heard about the whole Apocalypse and end of the world thing on December 21, 2012.  Well, it is December 23, 2012 so if you are reading this, you are a survivor!!! CongratsJ even though I didn’t really believe the whole end of the world thing, it was able to get me thinking about things (especially when I was driving on the snow and ice and I really thought I might die).  What if I actually was to die, not because of the end of the world, but maybe some crazy person, a freak disease, or even just driving to school or work?  I’m only seventeen years old, and I haven’t really finished living my life yet.

            For starters, it got my thinking about some friendships that well maybe I should try and repair.  It is hard enough living with regrets about how I have hurt some people I really care about, but I would hate to die thinking that some of those people really don’t like me.  You always hear people say things like, “I wish I could die and see who would go to my funeral” well I would hate to think that some of the people I care about the most probably wouldn’t even go, or care.

            Second, well my family and how they would be.  I wonder what would become of my brother and my Godson, and some of my younger cousins.  I think about how my parents would feel.  I would hope that someone would be there for them, but would there be?

            Third, like I said earlier, I’m seventeen years old and I want to grow up.  I want to go to college, get my dream job of being a Neonatologist.  Most important to me, however, I want to get married and have kids.  I love kids so much, and I want to be able to have some of my own.

            Fourth, I’m not as religious as I would like to be when I die.  I know that I am supposed to always be ready or whatever, but I’m not and I don’t know when I will be.  I think I am like a lot of teenagers in the fact that I only go to church because I have to, and well honestly I hate it.  Some of my best friends go to my church, but at the same time I don’t want to go, I think that they would all be ready but I still have my doubts.

            I guess, well like many teenagers, I’m not ready to die but I also know that it is the circle of life.  I would not be able to prevent my crazy driver hitting me while I walk along the side walk, but hopefully that doesn’t happen and I still have some time left.

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Family(:

            It is only two days until Christmas in case you didn’t know.  To celebrate, my family went up to visit my grandparents two hours away, along with all my aunts, uncles, and cousins.  My family is a little unique in many ways, and well today it became very obvious when after many years at my grandparents, someone announced that next year we were buying them a bigger sofa so family pictures would be easier.

            I have a large family, in case you didn’t figure that out from the sofa reference.  However, in recent years it has increased tremendously.  My grandparents got married and had my mom shortly after high school, and total had four kids.  You wouldn’t think their few kids would really amount to all that much, but well my aunt was like her parents and got married right out of high school and had my oldest and only other girl cousin, Jessie, and two other kids.  My mom got married a few years after Jessie was born, and had me between their two boys, and for a while the kids came rolling along.  In a span of two years my aunt had her last kid, my uncle had his first son, and my mom had my brother, and my remaining uncle adopted 3 kids…. Then everything stopped.

            About four years ago, the cycle of no kids that had been going on for over six years suddenly ended.  It all started with my cousin Jessie who had her first son, the next year my uncle had a son then another the next year, and then my other uncle started to foster a boy who he adopted this past summer, and along came two more boys that are being adopted on Friday.  To end the recent outgrowth, my cousin Jessie had a baby girl (FINALLY) on 12/12/12 and today I finally got to hold her.

            Holding the little girl in my arms after 17 years of boys in my family really got me thinking today.  My family might be crazy (like 6 kids under the age of 5 crazy) and all, but we are all family.  We may have our ups and downs, our fights and disagreements, but we all love each other.  Every few months we come together, no matter which person is no longer talking to whom, and just hang out.  We won’t all be here forever, and we want to make the most of this time while we can, and create the best memories.

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Snow Day(:

            In case you haven’t heard, there was a blizzard this week in the middle of the country.  I happen to live in Iowa, which was one of the worst hit places during the storm.  Where I live, we got about six and a half inches of snow.  To be honest, this much snow really isn’t that big of a deal where I live, the bigger problem was the wind that the storm brought.  Due to the wind and the snow, I had a snow day on Thursday and a two-hour delay on Friday.  I know there are some people that just moved to Iowa, or maybe somewhere else that is snows, and you may have no idea what to do when you have one of these oh so awesome snow days.  Here are some of my favorite things to do on snow days.

            The most obvious thing to do is go sledding.  Depending where you live, this may not be possible on the actual snow day, but instead a few days after.  All you need to go sledding is a hill, snow (preferably wet snow rather than fluffy) and a sled.  Some people I know don’t even use a sled, but if you have an old garbage can, the lid can always work for a homemade sled.  While sledding, you don’t always have to do the same thing, you can always grease or oil the bottom of the sled, or build ramps with the snow to increase the fun.  If you think that sledding is a little too childish, there is always the possibility of snowboarding or skiing, whatever makes you happy.

            When you get done sledding, one of the best things to do is make a nice cup of hot chocolate or coffee (if that is your thing).  Now, you may be that person that enjoys just plain old hot cocoa, but if you go sledding a lot you may need some new ideas to change up the taste.  The most obvious change to a cup of hot chocolate is to add some marshmallows, if you get tired of that you can always try adding a little bit of peppermint or mint flavoring to add a cooling taste to the normal hot drink.  Try adding your own ingredients to come up with different tastes that you may enjoy.

            If it isn’t possible to get out and go sledding due to the weather being bad, you can always bake some cookies.  This may be a problem if you don’t generally keep the ingredients around to bake, but this can also increase the fun as it becomes a scavenger hunt to find a recipe that you just happen to have the ingredients needed to make it.

            I know that some people lost electricity during this most recent blizzard, and if that happens, it is always possible to light some candles (and if possible a fire in the fire place) and cuddle up to read a book or play some board games with your family.

            Whatever you chose to do with your day off, enjoy the weather because it won’t last, so might as well make the most of the snow while it is here.

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Holiday Traditions

            I think that every family has some sort of holiday traditions, even if they don’t realize it.  They might be as simple as what you eat or something goofy like you have to do the Chicken Dance before every gift you open.  Honestly I really had to kind of think about some of the traditions my family has since they are all pretty basic and not that goofy.

1.      Every year, on the Sunday before Christmas, my entire family goes up to my grandparents on my mom’s side and we have a very large gathering.  This started happening long before I can actually remember since we have such a large family it is hard to make it work for everyone on Christmas.

2.      For Christmas on my mom’s side we always do a sort of gift exchange.  Everyone under the age of 18 has their name put in one hat and everyone else in the other hat, and we all take turns coming up and drawing a name.  Whoevers name you end up with is the person whose present you are getting but there are some rules.  On the kids side, you can’t buy a present for a sibling or a godchild (which only affects me and one of my cousins) and the gift must be in the price range of $10-15.  On the adult’s side, you can’t buy a present for your spouse and the present must be in the price range of $15-20.

3.      On Christmas Eve, we always invite my grandparents from my dad’s side, cousin, and my dad’s sister who lives in town to our house.  This is the night where we open most of our presents and we always have some sort of big meal.

I’m sure I am missing some of my family’s traditions, but even simple things like these count as traditions that make the holidays mean what they do to you. Merry Christmas to all!

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Christmas Shopping

            Every year Christmas rolls around and I think just about everyone is caught off guard.  This year I am especially scrambled and I am truly starting to wonder what happened to December.  Here we are, December 16^th and I basically just started my Christmas shopping.  I have found that this last minute shopping is both good and bad, and I will go into that in a little more detail in a little bit.  However, I am getting a little worried since I still don’t know what to get some people on my list and I really only have one more week.

            Where I live, all the stores to do your Christmas shopping are basically in 2 areas.  I hate driving in traffic, and you can imagine that getting this close to Christmas these areas are nuts! It also really doesn’t help that the mall nearest my house is right off of a highway, so not only do you have the shoppers but also everyone just driving down the highway.  Once you do get to the store you are going to, or the mall, you have to try and find parking which can sometimes be a nightmare.  Me, being the teenage driver I am, usually just drives to the very back of the lot and pulls in since I still can’t park my car very well but at this time of year most likely there are cars there too which is very frustrating for someone who can’t park with a car on both sides of theirs.

            Another bummer about going shopping this close to Christmas is that many things are already picked over.  I’m not saying that stores are out of everything but you can’t necessarily get the color you were planning on getting or you might have to order it, it seems like a lot more frequently than the years I started my shopping sooner.  I know today I was trying to find a certain outfit in Newborn but ended up having to get it in 0-3 months instead because the color I wanted to get was out of the smaller size.  Just little things like that make waiting a bad idea.

            I’m not trying to say that waiting this late to do my shopping was a bad idea, however.  I have found a lot of good deals and stores have been sending me a lot of coupons for bigger and bigger discounts the closer we have gotten to Christmas.  Waiting also has allowed me to get more ideas as to what to get some people, every year it always seems like someone tells me something else I could get them after I already bought something so it eliminates a lot of that.

            I’m not sure whether I will wait on my Christmas shopping again.  I know that it was not something that I necessarily planned on doing but instead kind of just happened.  I think that if you are somebody who doesn’t mind traffic or that extra- long line at the store, it would be cheaper to wait rather than buying everything right away at the beginning of December.

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Teacher Domination

            I am starting to wonder whether all my teachers may secretly be out to get me.  I have had this growing suspicion for a while, but this week my fear has increased.  Ever since this term started about 3 weeks ago my teachers have lulled me into a false sense of security by giving me no homework, and well I have liked it.  This week has been much different.  I guess, in all honesty, I did know long in advance about many of the assignments I have and could have done them ahead of time but procrastination got the best of me instead!

            This is the first week where I have felt truly sick but my teachers have made it virtually impossible for me to miss or get any sleep for that matter.  Honestly, everyone at my school is sick but we all still feel the need to keep coming to school because of all the homework getting piled on us; if we were to miss right now, we would never catch up! I did learn a very valuable lesson this weekend though… Never share a drink, even with your best friend, during cold and flu season because she will end up with the flu the very next day and BAM you are already sick!!!

            Last night I had to work too.  Now it is very unusual for me to have to work during the middle of the week (I work at a professional hockey stadium) so this has thrown me off tremendously.  Not only did I have to work on a Wednesday night, it was a night I had asked for off but not been granted because I knew just how much it would truly throw off my entire week, so I was not very happy the entire time I was working.

            I’m a wrestling cheerleader too, so it is kind of expected that I will have practice on Monday night and a meet every Thursday night.  I do try to plan my schedule and studying around that, but it never seems to happen so tonight being Thursday, I’m going to have fun.

            Back to the teachers being out to get me, they seem to have picked the busiest week to schedule their tests.  Not only do I have one or two tests, I have a test for almost every class.  I’m starting to wonder whether teacher collaborate and plan all their tests for the same day just to stress us all out, because it works and with tests comes assignments so I’m going to have fun tonight.

            I really think teachers pick our busiest weeks, talk to everyone else and place all their tests and assignment due dates in a 3 day span from everyone else.  Like I said before, yeah I could have worked on some of these assignments ahead of time but I was sort of busy then and didn’t see all the other teachers all of a sudden throwing everything in too.

           

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"Blown Away Tour"

            Somewhere around 8 months ago my mom told me what my birthday present was, even though my birthday was a week ago, and ever since I have been counting down the days until December 14, 2012.  My mom got me tickets to go see Carrie Underwood and Hunter Hayes in Des Moines, Iowa which is only about 2 hours from my house (for all my stalkers).  Since she got them only 3 minutes after preorders for tickets opened up it means we have really good seats, and I am really excited.

            Carrie Underwood is of course the main act and this is just one of her shows on her “Blown Away Tour”.  I have been a big fan of Carrie Underwood since she first began recording when I was little and I was very excited to get tickets to see her in concert, and it was like a dream come true.  I love her music and have spent years singing along to it, and I have all her albums on my iPod, even the ones I had on CD before.

            Hunter Hayes is the opening act to the tour.  When my mom bought the tickets I had never even heard of him and she never mentioned him being the opener.  He had not released an album until October of 2011, which ended up including a Top 20 Country Single and two Number 1 Singles alone.  So, by this last August I was dying to see Hunter Hayes in concert too and when I happened across the information that he would be the opener in the “Blown Away Tour” I was thrilled.  He was gone from barely heard of, to everyone wants to see him in concert, and Hunter may only be 21 but he has said that he can play over 23 different instruments, some of which I have never even heard of.  I constantly see his name on twitter and there has even been a few times where he has been trending.  He truly has quite a bright future ahead of him.

            I only have 5 more days until my long awaited birthday present, and I can’t wait.  You can bet that I will probably be writing another blog post about the concert again next week.

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Snow!!!(:

            In case you didn’t read my first post, I live in Iowa.  Living in Iowa means that every year it is inevitable that at some point we will get snow.  Now that it is December 9^th we have finally received that first, long awaited snowfall.  The response among those I know has been very mixed; some are excited while others are glad it has almost all melted away already.

            This morning when I woke up, I was one of those excited people.  The first thing I did was run to my window and look at the snow, then run to my phone and tweeted in all caps how it was snowing outside.  To me, the weather is only right for snow a few months out of the year so why not embrace it and enjoy it.  Only when there is snow can I go sledding and skiing which I love to do.  I really wish that I hadn’t been stuck in here doing homework all day because I would have gone sledding this morning even though it was only a small amount of snow on the ground.

            Then there was the people complaining about the snow, I know one of my friend’s responses was, “dammit”.  I guess, you have chosen to live here and have to accept the weather that this area and region bring so if you can’t embrace and enjoy it, move away so we don’t have to hear all of your complaining.  I understand that driving is more difficult with snow and ice, but you probably on average spend 45 minutes a day maximum driving so if you were to allot just a little bit of more time to driving each day, it would help tremendously.  I know snow is also very cold and wet, so get a movie, some blankets, and a cuddle buddy and watch a movie to keep you toasty warm.

            I’m not a fan of the cold and wet that winter brings, I really don’t know anyone that is, but at the same time it does no good to complain about it so embrace it.  Find ways to make the most of the snow.  Gather some friends and go sledding or skiing.  If you don’t enjoy the thought of going outside, stay home and bake cookies, watch movies, or knit blankets that you can donate to a local shelter for the holidays.  Just remember that summer will come againJ

 

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Best Friends

            I want to talk about your best friend.  Sometimes you don’t even know who your best friend may be until they are gone.  I know for me it took a really tough situation for me to find who my real friends were and who those were that I needed to just get rid of.  It took me losing someone very near and dear to me to figure out who was really there for me and who really wasn’t.  Since then, I have still found some people unworthy to be called my friends.

In high school I have found it very common to lose friends over boys, and I have too, but I find that really stupid. I don’t think that a guy should ruin a great friendship because odds are that guy will only last a few weeks while your friend could last a lifetime.  My friends, in the past, that made guys that big of a deal have ruined our friendship, but I really don’t find them that important.  I had a best friend who really liked one guy still, even though they had broken up, in fact she even said she loved him but it turned out that instead he liked me, and even though I valued our friendship enough to turn him down, she hated me for it and it ruined our friendship completely.  I don’t think that boys should be allowed to get into friendships, because they will ruin them no matter how much you say they won’t.

Rumors are also another good way to lose friends in high school.  Girls especially are really good at starting things, such as rumors, to get back at people, which can sometimes be taken too far and ruin friendships.  I lost my entire group of friends about half way through freshman year because of some rumors started about me and they still tend to start even more about me.

During high school I have found someone I can call my best friend, even though many times I don’t think they call me their best friend.  To me a best friend is understanding and nice, who wouldn’t judge you but that you could tell anything too without them getting mad.  You should be able to go to your best friend when you have problems and talk to them about it, and have them listen before providing their own input but at the same time help you talk through them.  Your best friend would tell you when they are mad and be there, always by your side, through all the hard times.

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Cars and Licenses

When you first get a car and license you are so excited that you are about to jump about of a building.  You finally have the freedom you have been waiting for, for probably 16 years of your life.  Most likely you don’t really realize the responsibility all of this is bringing to you, I know I didn’t.

If you have parents like mine, they made you pay for half of the car.  I know there are some out there that buy the car for the kids and some that make their kids buy the car themselves.  After buying my car, I had like no money but yet somehow my parents have expected me to pay for gas and some do.  I have a few friends whose parents also make them pay for their insurance which would be terrible.

I don’t know if I just had bad luck or what, but I have had a lot of car problems that cost a lot of money to fix.  Now, after only buying my car a year ago, I’m probably going to have to buy a new one which is going to cut through all my savings again.

Not only are cars expensive, but the new found freedom puts you in more danger of getting in trouble with the law.  You can now get traffic violations and because you don’t have your parents always there, you can do things illegally much more easily.

Now of course, when you turn 16 there are still some restrictions on your license for a year that you may choose to follow, or you may just never get caught breaking them.  You can’t drive between the hours of 12:30 and 5 am without a parent or legal guardian and the consequences are much more severe for breaking traffic laws.

When you get that new (most likely only to you car) and your license, it adds a lot of responsibility to you.  The car adds a lot of financial responsibilities if your parents choose, and your license adds responsibility with the law.  I guess it is up to you how well you act with those responsibilities, I know a lot of kids that were given them a little too soon.

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December

December has arrived, but honestly it has felt like December for weeks.  This year it seemed like it got cold sooner, Christmas songs were starting in October, and Black Friday sales started on Halloween.  I may be exaggerating a little, but these things still really ought to wait until December.

Now that December has arrived, it is like 60 degrees outside, but just a few weeks ago it was in the 30s.  I know that we can’t really help the temperatures but I know it kind of through me off a little bit.  Now that it is December, I am ready for some snow but it went and warmed up which actually makes me kind of mad at Mother Nature.

This year on the radio they were talking about different artists releasing their Christmas albums it seemed like in October.  It may have been later but I know I was hearing Christmas songs long before Thanksgiving.  I know there are no Thanksgiving songs, but it is a separate holiday that needs to be celebrated before we can have all the Christmas music playing.

I was hearing about all the Black Friday sales and discounts at like the beginning of November this year.  If that isn’t bad enough, a lot of stores opened on Thanksgiving Day.  Like I said before, they are two separate holidays that deserve to be celebrated separately.  Not only that, I would hate to be the people forced to work on Thanksgiving, which is a federal holiday I’m pretty sure so even banks and stuff are closed, rather than spending time with their friends and family giving thanks.

Not to be mad at ABC specifically or anything either, but their new Countdown to 25 Days to Christmas.  Isn’t that whole idea a little redundant? A countdown to a countdown? I’m sorry, but stop playing Christmas movies in November because otherwise I get stuck watching them 10 times before Christmas gets here and they are making me want to vomit.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love Christmas.  I love buying my Godson cute little clothes and spending time with my family, but all this starting it in November means that it isn’t as special anymore.  Christmas is now here 1/6 of the year, which is really no fun.

Well December is here so I grant permission for snow (but no ice), Countdown to Christmas, Christmas music, and Christmas shopping to begin, even though almost all of that has already started anyway.

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Just Drew It

It seems like ever since I was little people have been telling me that life is short, and live it to the fullest. We all know deep down that this is true, but at the same time we generally chose to ignore this piece of advice as teenagers, or we over live it thinking of YOLO, or you only live once.

This past Monday at our school a student lost his battle to cancer, and he truly lived life to the fullest. Even though Drew Wall had been battling cancer since he was 11 years old, he never let it bring him down and he never used it as an excuse. Drew was an athlete, who participated in swimming, golf, and martial arts; never letting the fact that the cancer had already taken his leg, get in the way.

I had the opportunity to have Drew in my Chinese class the past 3 months, and even as he struggled with cancer he wanted to feel normal. He attended class as often as possible and right up to the very end he still wanted the teacher to send him homework assignments so that he could complete them. Drew wanted to be normal and to fit in. Our Chinese teacher shared one touching thing with us a few weeks ago that he had put on one of his homework assignments he had sent back to her, one of the last ones he had ever done. The homework assignment asked us to translate the sentences from English into Chinese characters, and the sentence read as follows:

“Do you remember me?”

This would translate to:

“你还记得我妈?”

However Drew instead inserted one character we had never even discussed before in class to make it read:

“你还会记得我妈?”

This would instead translate to:

“Will you remember me?”

I am here to say to Drew:

你将会记得.

You will be remembered.

Drew was truly an inspiration to all he met, and a friend to anyone and everyone. He will live on in all those whose lives he touched.  I know Drew was a true inspiration to many and will continue to be for me.  He never wanted others sympathy and always tried to continue life as though nothing was wrong.

“Just Drew It” Go out there and participate, be a good student, and a friend to others.  Life is short and you never know when it might end, so live every day like it might be your last.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

 

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